I guess this week as a whole hasn't exactly been the best week. I know I told myself I was going to be more positive, however after what happened last night that seems to be, once again untrue. I thought I had made a real friend, someone who in the last couple weeks I have really connected to. I thought that I had misunderstood everything that people had said about her, I had told her things about myself. It seemed as if we were becoming really good friends. She was someone who understood how I felt with this school, with being misunderstood. However, after last night and this morning it seemed as if that all changed. I didn't know that I was being a bitch… I honestly thought that she had the door, I never dissed her makeup. She had shot me back with negative accusations, yet all I did was try to apologize, I tried to explain. I didn't mention that she hadn't exactly been treating me like a friend, and also I think she stole money from me. I know lock my doors and keep my valuables hidden. I don't know about our friendship, I honestly thought that we were really good friends. The things you accused and said to me however remind me that I might have been completely wrong.

My whole life I have had a hard time trusting people, I have either put to much trust in someone to the point where they hurt me or I have not trusted someone when I should have. I tend to be sheltered, however when it comes to some things I am very outspoken and loud about them. I don't put up with shit. I don't open up, I have feelings. Even thought I might have seem as if all I do is be a bitch, I really try not to. I don't see myself as it, I really am trying to change, to become a better person. I hoped that maybe this last month would be a easy good month, however a this point I really don't know. I want to say that my attitude has changed and that I'm a more positive person, I truly believe that it's just really hard to feel that way all the time. When I trust someone and become someone's friend I expect at least respect… and I got the farthest thing from that. I guess the only thing I can say is that I need to be more guarded… I can't be myself.

I really did wish that I had made friends that would last, however it is becoming harder and harder to see who is really there for me and who is not. I tried, I really did… I just can't go on like this anymore. I need to leave, to pack my things and go somewhere where I don't have these people around me. I guess the things they say about Point Park Community are bullshit. Remember the quote: "friends forever" that is absolutely fucking bullshit!!