I'm still confused on what I do. What do I choose, what do say? I'm so bad at expressing my feelings at all...about anything. Especially this. Hopefully sometime soon I'll get a solution. I want to tell you how I feel, yet I keep telling you the opposite. I think its because I WANT to believe that it's the truth. In the mean time just trying to focus on my schoolwork. Maybe someday my prince charming will come to me.

Today was yet another unproductive day.. I had school, then ate... Ya I didn't go to the gym though. I feel like I don't really have the strength to do anything anymore. I did however re-unite with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I was able to walk her to the bus station and say bye.

Do any of you ever feel like your life revolves around what other people think about you? You are so focused on the fact of trying to please everyone you forget to make yourself happy. I have that problem a lot. I want to please everyone... yet I can't be happy myself. I'm so caught up on trying to make our friendship work, so that every time I hang out with you I don't have that urge just to punch you in the face. I don't know... I just don't connect with you. No matter how hard I try. It feels like the moment you saw me you decided to hate me. I do things for my friends... I'm sorry but I'm not going to treat them the same when you treat me like shit. Yet you pressure me into doing those things for you... I don't want everyone else to hate me. Especially because they all love you. I just can't stand the way you act towards me. I don't know if it's intentional. I have the feeling it is... Maybe someday you will give me another chance?

I'll leave you with this: "All you can do is live one day at a time, because someday that one day will turn into more than just another day. It will turn into your future. So don't loose hope and don't give up."